I was subpoenaed to testify in a case against one of the owners of Debticated Debt Counseling Service who is charged with mail fraud and traveled to New York to enter my testimony to the judge and jury there.
My trip to New York was fraught with delays and a lot of waiting in airports. Thank goodness I had thought to bring several books (like 6 of them — did I have a premonition?) as well as my laptop to while away those hours.
It was something that SHOULD have made me nervous, but I was strangely calm throughout the entire time from leaving to finally getting home. That calm held me in good stead over the two days as any other time, I think I would have been irritable and querulous. I am allowed to use that word (querulous) when describing myself since I’m a grandmother 6 times over and of an age 
Testifying in front of a Federal jury is not exactly like Law and Order or Perry Mason depicts — at least not in my experience which admittedly is limited to this one instance (thank goodness!). The Prosecutor spent about an hour briefing me and he knew his opponent well as did the other agents I met and talked with along the way. Without alarming me, he indicated the questions the defense attorney might ask me and emphasized that I was to reply “I don’t know” if I truly didn’t know the answer to the question. I could also answer “I don’t remember” if I didn’t remember and he would be allowed to show me a document that would help me recall a date or wording.
The day I was to testify (I was one of several dozen witnesses being brought in on this case), I met for a second time with the Prosecuting Attorney who touched on a couple of points he wanted to be sure I was firm on and then explained what the physical process of my getting to the courtroom and what would occur once I was there. Then we went up to the courtroom where I was put in the “Witness Room” and waited to be formally called in.
It wasn’t long before the call came, and I entered the courtroom for the first time. The doors I walked through were behind the two tables that the opposing attorneys sat at and there was very little room for spectators. There were in fact no spectators for this case at all.
The judge’s bench was directly across from the doors and the jury box was to my right. The witness stand where I was to go was to the left and faced the jury. I had been instructed to go to the stand but to stand beside it and wait for the judge to call the jury in and instruct me to be seated.
Once the jury came in, I was sworn in and instructed to sit down and talk into the microphone lying on the surface in front of me. Someone brought me a cup of water which I thanked them for and so we began. The Prosecuting Attorney asked me the leading questions we had discussed — some innocuous things like was I married and where did I work and what did I do. The court reporter stopped me at one point because he didn’t understand something I said, so I had to repeat it. The judge joked that they couldn’t understand my accent. I apologized for my twang and we continued.
The PA showed me some documents — an application form that I had filled out and some other papers and asked me things about them. He showed me the money order that I had sent initially and asked if that was my handwriting on it. Then we got to another paper that I wasn’t familiar with but that had words I had written on it. That caused the DA to get all excited and call for an objection. Everyone had to huddle up by the Judge’s bench to discuss whatever point of law that pertained and the end was that she sustained the objection and the PA had to take another tack. He wasn’t put off at all and although he didn’t get to the document until about 10 questions later, he DID get it admitted into evidence. The PA tried to object again, but the judge over ruled him this time as everything was properly done by the PA.
A few more questions and the PA rested his case, letting the DA have the floor.
The DA half stated – half asked didn’t I testify that I had never spoken to his client (no, I did not testify that because I DID speak to his client). Next question which was a slight re-wording of the first and delivered in a belligerent shout had the PA up on his feet with an objection and before the “n” in objection was out of his mouth, the “s” of sustained was out of the judge’s. I was hard pressed not to laugh. Third question was again a re-wording of the first two and my reply this time was “Sir, if you need the court reporter to read back my testimony on speaking to your client, I’m sure he can. ” The jury grinned to a man. Fourth question was something else entirely which put the kabosh to the whole questioning by the PA and he gave up. I was excused and left the courtroom, passing the next witness as I exited the room. One of the Postal Inspectors on the case walked me back downstairs and was enthusiastic over my testimony. He said I was an excellent witness and thanked me for making the trip up there.
Finally I was on my way back home! Again waiting in an airport for 4 hours for my flight — this one has no internet at all, so I’m back to reading my books. By now I’m on the fourth one I brought and by the time I was on the final flight of the day home, I finished it and started a fifth. Yeah, I do read pretty fast. It was well after midnight before my head touched the pillow, but sleep came quickly and morning came all too soon. Thankfully I had arranged with my boss to telecommute that day, so didn’t have to leave my office.
And now, life is back to normal…..whatever that is
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