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Now listen up all, I’ve a story to tell
‘bout breeding and whelping
it’s sometimes pure hell!

We did all the right stuff – research and discuss
To pick the right sire
To make beautiful pups

We counted the day, the hours and minutes
Til that long ‘waited day dawned
a miracle imminent.

The work was easy – seven puppies were born
In the space of a minute
Then we tooted our horn!

But whippet gods frown on boastful owners
And as puppies grew,
We had lots of groaners.

Week one was great – nothing too tough
Week two brought cute noises
growls and grrruffs

Week three: mom said “No more” in a huff
“Teeth hurt and they’re messy!”
“I quit – that’s enough!”

Now it’s my turn to care for canine capers
Feed, water, deworm
And then change poopy papers

I had to increase my newspaper subscription
When caught stealing the neighbors
Consigned me to eternal perdition.

Week six we moved them from one room to another
They’d eaten the floor and the walls
Oh BROTHER!

I run out of food seems every other day
The garbage man’s on strike
Lord, help me! I pray!

But soon they’ll be going to new homes and far places
I’ll miss them I know
(Once I’ve had a vacation)

I can’t seem to quit – I’m addicted, I confess!
To puppy breath and kisses
And probably even the mess!