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I am a very trusting person.
I have been all my life and that’s gotten me into trouble more than once.
I have always operated on the premise that people are generally honest and forthright in their dealings with people who are honest and forthright with them. Sort of a do unto others as you would have them do unto you — yeah, that’s been my creed for as long as I can remember.
I’m also a big advocate of keeping my word. If I say I’m going to do something there’s not much that will keep me from honoring it.
Lord knows I’ve had plenty of opportunities to lie about things.
For example, a couple of years ago when I hit the deer on my way to work, I could have told the body shop that the scrape along the side of the van was also from the accident, and the auto insurance company would have paid to have had it fixed along with all the other damage done by hitting a 150 lb deer at 55 mph, but it’s just not in me to prevaricate like that. So I got the van back with the front end totally replaced still sporting a scrape along the side of it from where I pulled in too close to the mailboxes. It went to van heaven a few months later when my neighbor totaled it when she passed out behind the wheel and hit a light pole. Thankfully, she was OK and they found out what made her pass out, so losing the van, scrape and all was an inconvenience but not the tragedy it could have been.
So when someone lies to me, it hurts my feelings a lot.
Now, I could take the ugly way and blog the person’s name and their crime, but there’s no gain in that. They know who they are and what they did.
Could I get satisfaction out of dragging their name through the mud? Maybe for a moment. Would it make them change their ways? Probably not.
How do you deal with being wronged? Do you seek revenge? Does it really give you satisfaction when you extract it?
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I am much like you. I keep my word when it involves someone else – or if something is relying on my word. Sure I’ve said plenty of things I was going to do but didn’t, but that only happens when I don’t think anyone is actually relying on me to do something.
When someone lies to me, depending on my relationship with that person, I don’t necessarily need to get revenge but I do need to know the why. I’m big on ‘whys’. I can understand pretty much any situation as angry as it may have made me at first, but if you give me a good enough ‘why’… I’ll understand and forgive.
Hope you feel better soon. And I would like to say that its mighty big of you NOT to drag their name through the mud. Very commendable
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The way you handled this just goes to prove that you are the better person. Revenge or getting your own back, really means nothing. I think you handled the situation in the correct fashion and might I say, with dignity.
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i am once in your shoes. a couple of weeks ago i got betrayed on honesty, loyalty and trustworthy,( i don’t know how would i say in one word to that) despite of that it never came to my mind the word revenge or do anything which i believed that i gain nothing but rather i move on and learned from it. I only pray and hopefully soon they will be ashamed and be disgraced of what they had done to others…i always seek in the psalm 6 V10…im not religious i believe God. if i stumble like this i only pray…:)
have a great day!:)
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@Reggy — I think a lot of us are this way. If you really think about it, it’s the most logical way to be. Otherwise you run around all the time worrying about who’s going to do you wrong next and that’s not a mentally healthy way to live.
@Lyndi — why is CommentLuv picking out a post that’s not on your site? It’s chosen the same post the last 10 comments you’ve left. Anyway, thank you for your kind words. I know I’m far from being a perfect person — I do have my flaws! I just think being fair in my treatment of others is the best way to live.
@Glorie — yeah living this way is the best way.
I think you are one of the few by telling the truth about your insurance claim. I think 90% of the people would have lied as you have said.
My personal viewpoint is that we require an ideal world where everybody tells the truth. But until then, we do need an occasional lie when the situation calls for it in order to get through life.
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@BIC — telling a lie about the scrape on the car would have been much more than a white lie. To me a white lie is telling someone their new hairstyle looks wonderful when in matter of fact, your true opinion thinks it looks like someone cut it using a blender..
In other words, a white lie involves the suppression of my OPINON. A lie involves distorting or nondisclosure of facts known at the time.
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